Grieving

As I read the news, see the pictures and hear from friends in Egypt my heart is heavy and I am grieving. I want to share with you some of what I have seen and heard.

A friend of mine who is now a priest was traveling by car on Wednesday when knife-wielding men saw him inside and moved toward the car to attack it. He was saved by a fast-thinking and fast-moving driver who speed out of danger and told him to remove his black cassock. Today this same priest told me that priests in Egypt fear being led like sheep to the slaughter. Lord have mercy.

Christians in Egypt are watching their churches, organizations, Coptic-owned businesses and homes being attacked, desecrated and burned while security forces do nothing. They wonder if the land that God sent the Holy Family to for protection and where Christians have lived for nearly 2000 years will continue to be a land where Christians are welcome, protected and cared for. Lord have mercy.

Photos of St. Teresa Church (Franciscan), Assiut, Egypt

Much of the violence has taken place in Upper Egypt (south of Cairo) where many of my students and their families live. I cannot imagine the fear, devastation and anger they must feel on this day of the Assumption, which is one of the great feast days in Egypt. Churches across Egypt canceled masses and celebrations today out of fear that worshippers would be attacked. Lord have mercy.

In my grief and sadness, here's what I'm doing:

Praying - I continue to pray for a return of safety, security and peace in Egypt. I also pray for my friends and their families that they will know that they are not alone, that they are held in the palm of God's hand and that their brothers and sisters in Christ around the globe are holding them close. I felt the power of your prayers when I was in Egypt earlier this summer and I believe that our prayers will be known by our brothers and sisters in Egypt.

Listening - I read, watch and listen to everything I can about Egypt, especially how our Christian brothers and sisters are being affected. I do this to gain information but I also do it try to expand my understanding. Here's one blog in English that has been attempting to document the extent of violence that has taken place against Coptic sites in Egypt. It's easy to become inured to the violence and destruction but when I see pictures of stunned faces, when I watch a video of a man trying to guard his church, when I hear friends say they fear being killed, I am reminded that this is not merely a "situation." Real lives are at stake. Fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, daughters and sons are being killed and wounded and we cannot escape the impact of these actions even if we want to.

http://nilerevolt.wordpress.com/2013/08/14/1198/

Taking Responsibility -  I take great care to remind myself that what is unfolding in Egypt is not the responsibility or fault of Islam but the responsibility of those who corrupt their faith by replacing it with idols of power and control and scapegoating groups of people, regardless of their religion. I also work to understand the role that outside forces, including my own government, may have in shaping the violence that is unfolding in Egypt. In my Lutheran understanding of sin I must admit my own culpability and confess my sin in "thought, word and deed, by what I have done and by what I have left undone." How have I failed to understand the ways that America's foreign policy impacts others across the globe? How often have I settled for slow and unsatisfactory responses from my government rather than speaking about about what I know and believe to be true?

I hope you will join me in these activities. Frankly it would be easier if I asked you to give money (I am working on a way to do that and to offer assistance to those dioceses, churches and organizations that have been destroyed and burned). I know what happens when we open our ears to hearing the stories of our neighbors and open our eyes to looking at their bruised and broken bodies. When we do this we realize that we are gazing on Christ and our hearts and minds are opened in new ways as well and we are forever changed.

Today is the Feast of the Assumption, a widely-celebrated feast in Egypt. On this day the assigned gospel reading is Mary's song of praise to the Mighty One who has done great things. May Mary's song, sung in a moment of fear and uncertainty, ring in the hearts of all who grieve today.

"God's mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, according to the promise he made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever."  

2013:13 - Some Reflections

With time and distance here are some further reflections on my time in Egypt this year.

·      Despite the protests that erupted and all that’s happened in the last week, my time in Egypt this year was mostly very routine and mundane. For three weeks, I taught, preached, and tried to keep up on my work in the states much in the same way I do every year with few interruptions. We experienced some power blackouts, but not nearly as often or for as long as I had been expecting. While we heard that protests were planned for 30 June upon arriving in Cairo, there was very little discussion of what that might mean for us prior to 27 or 28 June.

·      When I say I was safe, secure and very well protected at the seminary I wasn’t exaggerating to ease your fears. Ma’adi is 20 minutes or so by Metro from central Cairo. The seminary is a 5-10 minute walk to the Metro. My situation was not unlike living in Harlem while the Operation Wall Street Protests were happening in the Financial District of Manhattan. I was in the same city, but far removed from any action or any danger.

·      Between Saturday evening and my departure on Thursday, the only time I left the grounds of the seminary was to walk one block to the pharmacy to get something. When I made the trip on Tuesday evening, I was accompanied by two colleagues AND two students! Abuna Bishoi was not going to let us out of his care and protection for even five minutes.

·      Since the 2011 Revolution, I have said that I would return to Egypt as long as I felt that I could take the necessary precautions to remain safe AND as long as my presence in Egypt didn’t put my friends at risk or danger. When we contemplated leaving on Saturday our real question to Abuna Bishoi was, “is our presence here a threat to the seminary? Or would our departure bring you or the seminary relief to not have to worry about us?” We even asked him to speak with us directly, like American’s speak, and not speak in the polite and deferential patterns that are the norm for Egyptian interpersonal communication. When he assured us that our presence was not a threat to the seminary nor his desired wish in stating that we were free to leave, we agreed that we felt it was better to stay at the seminary and not go to the airport until we had a ticket on a plane. Abuna Bishoi supported that plan.

·      The unfolding violence in Egypt since Wednesday night is not surprising. Throughout the weeks leading up to 30 June everyone said that the Brotherhood would not give up power and government control without bloodshed and violence. And as horrible as the news is coming out of Egypt in the last 48 hours, I believe that it would have been even worse had the military not taken the action that it has taken. My hope and prayer at this point is that with the start of Ramadan on Tuesday, 9 July, a month when much of the normal activity slows or stops altogether, that violence will subside for the month of fasting and that will give the caretaker government and the military a chance to stabilize and secure the situation on the ground.

·      Mangos are best eaten hanging out a window with mango juice and pulp dripping all over your face and hands. The American way of eating mangos is far to clean and neat.

·      On the last day of the summer course last year I wore my clerics to morning mass at the seminary because I was leaving from there to go to St. Andrew’s to preach. After mass that morning, Abuna Bishoi said to me, “Today you are a priest.” When I asked him about his statement he simply pointed to my clerical collar. Never mind that I had been preaching in mass for years at that point. To Abuna Bishoi the sight of me in a clerical collar was a clear signal of my pastoral office and authority. With that in mind I made an intentional decision to wear my clerics every morning when I preached in mass this year. I can only say that when people say that non-verbal cues (including our clothing) communicate more to others than the words we say, they are not lying!

·      I challenged myself this year to preach without any manuscript when I gave the homily in daily mass. I’m so glad I did this. It was great practice for me as I try to move away from using a manuscript in my preaching. I’m going to be doing my best to continue to develop this skill as I return to the preaching task at home in the coming weeks.

·      One of my students shared with me an observation on Wednesday morning for which I will be forever grateful. He said, “I sit with you at a meal one day and I ask you questions and you answer them. And then I see you sitting with a different group of students at the next meal and I hear a different student ask you the same questions. Every day and every meal you get the same questions. And every time you answer the questions. You never get impatient. You never say, ‘I already answered that five times.’ You talk to each student with respect as if that is the first time you have ever been asked a question.” All I can say is thank you Holy Spirit for the insight 7 years ago after my first meal at seminary when I realized that I might be the only female pastor these students ever encounter in their life and how I responded to their questions would shape how they view women in pastoral leadership for the rest of their life.

·      I realize that my continued presence in Egypt this year placed anxiety and concern in the hearts of many of you whom I hold dear. For that I’m sorry, it was certainly not my intent. Last Friday I preached at St. Andrew’s in Cairo two days before the protests were scheduled to begin. In that sermon (borrowed heavily from the wisdom of David Lose at Luther Seminary) I said, “When I think about the uncertainty of all that will unfold in Egypt in the coming days … the only real hope is in the idea that Jesus walks with us in all this uncertainty, holds us close, and brings us to the other side.

“… What if the deepest calling of a Christian disciples isn’t to be in control – either ourselves or through God – but rather to give up the illusion, to take some risks, and to throw ourselves into this chaotic life and world God loves so much trusting that God will join us in the adventure, hold onto us through all the ups and downs, and brings us in time to the other side.

“… This trust in Christ’s presence and only this is what allows us to sing with the Psalmist, ‘Protect me, O God, for I take refuge in you … My heart … is glad, and my spirit rejoices; my body also shall rest in hope.’”

Friends, I was able to “rest in hope” this past week for two reasons. First, because I was buoyed by all of your prayers and words of support and encouragement to me. I remained surprisingly calm and levelheaded through everything that was happening. I know that strength came from you and your prayers. Second, I believe with all of my heart that Christ was with me, and that no matter what happened, I would not be alone. I hope in some small way you see in my words and actions this summer not someone who made foolish or ill-advised decisions, but rather I hope you see a witness to my faith in the risen Christ who walks with us through all.

2013:12 - Departure

As I write this I am about half-way through my flight to New York. I left the seminary at 5:30 a.m. on Thursday morning with my colleagues Dea and Brett. Abuna Bishoi, who had not yet been to sleep, accompanied us along with the driver from the seminary. We had an easy time working our way through the Egyptair terminal to our gate. We saw lots of weary-looking people at the airport, most of who looked like foreigners and like they had spent many hours at the airport waiting for flights.

On Wednesday, along with all of Egypt, we watched the departure of Mohammed Morsy from the presidency. The day unfolded with a combination of routine and last minute activity. In the morning we held our final classes as we waited to learn what would happen up on the expiration of the military’s 48-hour ultimatum, which was scheduled to expire around 4:30 in the afternoon.

In the afternoon I occupied my time with packing and finishing up last minute tasks. As 4:30 rolled around I began to hear that Morsy had been placed under house arrest and the military was preparing to make a statement. As the hours passed we made our way to the dining room for our end of the course party, which began at 7:30. We ate and celebrated and waited for news. Some of the students spent the evening with earphones plugged into one ear as they followed national events on the news as the hour of the military address to the nation kept getting delayed.  The most poignant moment of our evening happened early on when we sang the National Anthem of the U.S. in honor of our Independence Day celebration and then our students rose to sing their national anthem with such national pride and hopefulness.

The party continued and when the address began we instantly stopped our celebration and turned our attention to the news. We sat in a circle with the students and listened in silence as the head of the military addressed the nation in Arabic.

Since I could not understand the words, I watched the faces of those around me. At first there was little movement, no sound and few noticeable changes in the serious expressions on their faces. But as the address neared its end their expressions softened and at the news that Morsy had been removed from office they broke into cheers. When the speech finished, I turned to one of my students and said, “well?” His response was simple, “Morsy is done.” When their cheers and celebrations subsided we asked Nevine, one of our Egyptian teaching colleagues, to explain to us what had been said and that’s when we heard about the actions the military had taken.

The party wrapped up quickly from there and as we said our goodbyes and began to make our way back to our rooms, we could hear the horns and the celebrations roaring all around us from the streets of Ma’adi. We made our way up to the rooftop where we caught glimpses of the fireworks going off within blocks of the seminary. The roar of the horns was deafening, different from what it had been in the previous evenings. Instead of the usual rhythmic honking, people laid on their horns and did not let up. On the rooftop we stood amazed at what we were witnessing from afar and were all grateful that we were leaving in the morning. For while Morsy’s removal from office is what most Egyptians wanted I fear that this news will be met by violence and bloodshed in the coming days.

In the moment, however, I was filled with admiration and a deep sense of privilege. Admiration for what the Egyptian people had done in taking to the streets to express their longing for a government that represents all Egyptians. And privilege for the opportunity to be a witness to this moment. Over the last two years our students have said that the revolution of 2011 proved that Egyptians were not afraid anymore. They would no longer abide by governments that cared only for themselves and not the needs of all Egyptians. To see that unfold before my eyes over the last few days has been a gift for which I will be forever grateful.

I know there are those who argue that by removing Morsy from power, Egypt has weakened its new democracy, not strengthened it. They wonder what will happen when the next crises arises and the one after that? Will Egyptians only mobilize through street action and not through their engagement in the political process? The argument is valid and at some point Egypt has to make its democracy work. The problem with this argument is that fails to recognize that in the aftermath of the 25 January Revolution conservative Islamist groups were the only organized game in town and so when it came time to draft a constitution, run candidates for parliament and form the foundations of Egypt’s new democracy, the deck was stacked against more moderate and liberal elements Egyptian society who have a broader vision for what Egypt can be.

In addition, because of his efforts to grab power from the military and the judiciary in the last year, Morsy had removed any way for his rule to be challenged through the democratic system. In his final days Morsy argued that if Egyptians didn’t like his governance they could remove him from office after four years. Unfortunately with a fast-deteriorating economy and worsening living conditions for ordinary people, Egyptians couldn’t wait four years and there was no method within the existing constitution to remove Morsy from office except to take to the streets.

To be sure, Egypt has to figure out how to make its democracy work and it has to do this quickly. I’m heartened by what I’ve seen over the course of this summer. Opposition groups were able to organize, unite behind a single agenda and identify representatives who will speak for them. This level of organization and strategic thinking was lacking in the aftermath of 25 January 2011 and will be essential as a caretaker government works to draft a new constitution and as Egypt moves towards new parliamentary and presidential elections. Moderate and liberal thinkers are going to need to continue to unite and compromise with each other in order to build an Egypt that is able to embody the ideals and the vision of the 25 January Revolution.

 As I depart Egypt this year I do so with a mixture of hope, fear and anticipation. I’m filled with hope for my friends in Egypt after what I’ve seen unfold in the last week. Egyptians have not forgotten the ideals that lead to the 25 January 2011 Revolution and they are willing to raise their voices to fight for these ideas. Nonetheless, I fear what the coming days and weeks will bring. Prominent leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood have been arrested but the ideals represented by them and other more conservative groups remain embedded in the hearts of many, especially in Upper Egypt. Somehow Egypt has to find room for conservatives, moderates and liberals to come together and find common ground around building a better Egypt for all her people.

I don’t know what the coming year will bring for Egypt. But as I think about my friends and the place that I love so dearly, I will eagerly follow the events that unfold and will eagerly anticipate my return. As I await that day I will continue to pray for security, peace, justice, opportunity and freedom for ALL Egyptians. For you who pray and have come to care for the people of Egypt through my travels and my work, I hope you will join me.

2013:11 - Waiting, Watching and Preparing to Leave

It's been a very full day made more full by the fact that my internet modem ran out of memory. Knowing that we face an uncertain trip home I've spent the last hour trying to get that recharged. Nothing is every easy in Egypt and when you face the hurdle of language the challenges is multiplied. 

I wrote this earlier this morning:

Everyone in Egypt is waiting and watching to see what will happen in the coming hours. The military’s 48-hour ultimatum expires at 4:30 pm this afternoon. Morsy continues to maintain that he is the legitimate, democratically-elected president of Egypt. His assertions that protesters are from the former Mubarak regime is ridiculous. Millions of ordinary Egyptians of all ages from across the country have come out over the last week to demonstrate against the action and inaction of the current government.

At some point between now and 5:00 am tomorrow morning I will make my way to the airport with my colleagues. We’re waiting to see how the situation unfolds to determine when we leave. There is a chance we will have to spend the night or at least many hours at the Cairo airport.

I ask for your continued prayers for peace, security, justice and opportunity for all Egyptians and a non-violent unfolding of whatever will happen in the coming hours and days. Pray also for the seminarians who will be making their way from Cairo to their homes in the coming days. Finally, I ask your prayers for safe and uneventful travel for my colleagues and me.

Current news:

I've heard Morsy has been placed under house arrest. I don't know any more because I haven't had time to read the news.

Now that I have internet access I'll try to provide an update once we get to the airport. 

2013:10 - Waiting

If “tension” was the word of the of the day yesterday, “waiting” is the word for today. All day we have been waiting for news, for action, for noise, for anything. As sunset fell we started hearing horns and voices on the street again, but for most of the day Ma’adi remained quiet.

The news at dinner tonight is that 2 million people are protesting across Cairo and that protests are being held in each of Egypt’s 26 governorates and in cities and villages across the country. What this means is the discontent with the current government is widespread which is what we’ve been hearing since our arrival 3 weeks ago. So far protests have remained peaceful and non-violent. As I write this I can hear a flurry of horns not far from here. The fifth call to prayer has also begun and so Cairo sounds more like itself at this moment.

Students predict that the protests will continue tomorrow, but that is just a guess for now. We’ll have to see what tomorrow brings. I’m grateful that we’ll return to our weekday routine tomorrow. It will be good for us and for the students to have the distraction of class.

Waiting today involved catching up on work, reading books, Facetime with Hans, an afternoon nap and a movie with my colleagues. Abuna Bishoi is working hard to keep us all happy with food! He brought us an assortment of beverages today and tonight at dinner he had ice cream for us and another sweet Egyptian treat that means “knit together” in English.

We continue to watch, to wait and most of all to pray for the peace and security of Egypt.